Edwin Accident Monitoring System


This page serves as a central point of contact for people looking for the latest status of Edwin Million. As reports come in from our monitors, they will be posted here.
Current Status: Mildly injured

Our sources indicate that Edwin has been mildly injured recently. The injury is to his left ankle, which he twisted while helping his finacee fix her car.

Apparently he encountered some rough ground and twisted his ankle slightly. He was out of work at least one day due to this injury, but it seems that there was no hospital visitation involved. We have not recieved any reports indicating that the car in the immediate vicinity had made any physical contact with Edwin, including rolling over him or knocking him over.

We will continue to monitor this situation as events unfold.

UPDATE: 9:31:05PM EST
Sources confirm that Edwin's fiancee is not his fiancee, but actually his wife.


Past accident reports:


Please note that the reports are not online yet. They will be soon.
We apologize for the inconvenience.
  • Edwin hit by car.
  • Edwin hit by car.
  • Edwin struck by meteorite after getting hit by car.
  • Alien spacecraft shaped like car striks Edwin.
  • Edwin jumped by mob of angry cars while rollerblading.

    Ths page brought to you by:
    EMMAAC: The Edwin Million Memorial Accident Alert Centre

    1430 West Peachtree Street, NW
    Suite 300, telco closet next to men's room
    Atlanta, GA 30309
    ACCIDENT ALERT HOTLINE: 1-800-719-4332
    ACCIDENT ALERT EMAIL: edwin-accident-announce@ding.mindspring.com