Edwin Accident Monitoring System
This page serves as a central point of contact for people
looking for the latest status of Edwin Million. As reports
come in from our monitors, they will be posted here.
Current Status:
Our sources indicate that Edwin has been mildly injured recently.
The injury is to his left ankle, which he twisted while helping
his finacee fix her car.
Apparently he encountered some rough ground and twisted his ankle
slightly. He was out of work at least one day due to this injury,
but it seems that there was no hospital visitation involved.
We have not recieved any reports indicating that the car in the
immediate vicinity had made any physical contact with Edwin, including
rolling over him or knocking him over.
We will continue to monitor this situation as events unfold.
Sources confirm that Edwin's fiancee is not his fiancee, but
actually his wife.
Past accident reports:
Please note that the reports are not online yet. They will be soon.
We apologize for the inconvenience.
Edwin hit by car.
Edwin hit by car.
Edwin struck by meteorite after getting hit by car.
Alien spacecraft shaped like car striks Edwin.
Edwin jumped by mob of angry cars while rollerblading.
Ths page brought to you by:
EMMAAC: The Edwin Million Memorial Accident Alert Centre
1430 West Peachtree Street, NW
Suite 300, telco closet next to men's room
Atlanta, GA 30309
ACCIDENT ALERT HOTLINE: 1-800-719-4332
ACCIDENT ALERT EMAIL: edwin-accident-announce@ding.mindspring.com